The Reflecting rED

Everything is just so cluttered with emotions. I can't say my life is one way for the next day will be completely different. I feel clouded by the horrid depths of confusion. Nothing in this world makes sense anymore but isn't that what makes it worth experiencing? At times my thoughts can get a bit carried away. I tend to take things for granted must learn to appreciate what I have been given. If my family were a forest fire, I'd be the ashes that remained. Just the old nasty ashes that were left behind reminding all of the disaster that took place. If my friends and I were colorful flowers, I'd be the first to wilt. Is it because I'm not strong enough? Maybe I just like darker colors over the bright. If I was born in a litter of cats, I'd be the little runt the mother rejects. It is unfair to think this Kat would be treated so I have so much here for me, but I feel differently. I am surrounded by those who think the world of me. But why does it feel like I'm not worth it? Sometimes I just wish. I just wish...But you, no. You're different. Why do you treat me so? Why do you torment me so? You are never out of my mind. Not even for the fluttering seconds of today and you somehow manage to come back tomorrow. It's the past that has left me scarred. I used to be so happy but, remember that things change with every day. What is happening in my present? I don't really know Is what I am feeling now, happiness?Confusion seems to have weaved itself inside me. I feel it has wrapped around my veins, nerves, and bones eat, breathe, and sleep confusion. And I hate it.I'm afraid to think today is any better But being pessimistic never did me any good I wish I could be satisfied with what I have.